I wouldn't have the job. I can't deal with a truly cranky woman. Most things I've read on this thread are mild by comparison to a real woman in Monster Crank Mode. MCM thankfully may not occur often but I think most men are like myself and when confronted with MCM, completely dissemble like Jackie Gleason when Audrey Meadows nailed him.....Remember that "Homina-Homina-Homina" bit he did with looks of fear on his face.   That's the least of it.

Last Saturday morning Karen arrived home from work about 10 AM. We've both been on a diet for two weeks and were going to the grocery store after checking the new list. Tris came along and Michael wisely slept on (and on and on). For reasons I can no longer recall or fathom we decided to make a couple of other stops first. By the time we got to the store, it was about 3 and the damn place was crowded.....unusual for a Saturday during football season in Central Ohio. Karen is really waning quickly by this point and even her carry along cup of Tim Horton's coffee was having no effect. We reached the check-out with two carts about 3:30.

Now let me set the whole thing up so you can see it coming and happening. Karen is the world's best partner and my best friend. Why she married me or tolerates me is a total mystery. She could have done much better especially perhaps by marrying some guy who didn't develop multitudinous health issues. She has a job with heavy responsibility (Senior Lead Tech-runs the night shift in a large hospital pathology lab) and drives almost an hour each way. She has just finished two weeks of a short staff where she has worked 60 plus hours each week and is now coming off a 14 hour shift, has been up 24 hours and had only 4 hours sleep the day before. Additionally we had weighed before we left and while I lost 11 pounds in two weeks, she had lost 2. Are you ready?

Tris is trying to be his helpful self but that often involves saying, "Son, don't help anymore than you absolutely have to." He's trying to unload a cart and Karen is trying to move him along so we can get the other one unloaded as well. She sets her Tim's coffee down and within probaly 10 seconds, she turns at something going on in line and hits the coffee, spilling it on the grocery belt.....it was a LOT of coffee. She takes a couple of steps back. Coffee is everywhere......She whirls in my direction and I went right into the Homina routine as soon as I saw the look her face. Her body was ramrod straight. I was confronting a HUGE MCM.

The male part in this runs something like, "It's okay Honey....No big deal" or some other lame-ass thing that is so feeble it has less than no power to soothe the savage. Karen's eyes are burning with fire and I swear there were lightning bolts laden with tungsten that shot out and burned through my eyes and skull leaving a molten path as they exited the back of my head. Some strange force seems to be emanating from every pore turning me into a quaking Homina speaker. Both my nuts fell off. And in a voice as cold as ice with an edge like a razor and strong as steel......sort of Guillotine-like come to think of it......she announced, "I AM GOING TO THE CAR."

She did.

I retrieved my balls and put them in my coat for reattachment in the future and began to help clean up and get the check out done. It took a few minutes but soon the line was back in business and Tris and I headed to the car, he joyously and myself with the fear of a man about to enter a den of rattlesnakes. Karen faced straight forward as I attempted to make a bit of an apology for whatever ta' hell it was I'd done. "Let's just go home.".........Every man who has heard these four words, brittle and cold, knows there is no "just" to it and deep shit awaits.

I stopped into Tim Horton's and got her another coffee She sorta' grinned which brought out the real Karen for a moment and we began to talk about things and soon she felt better but I treaded lightly til I had served up supper and tucked her in bed.....or actually in her recliner where she dropped right after eating.

This is not a fault in any woman, especially certain women like Karen. They are kind and loving and able to cope with damn near anything 99% of the time...maybe more. These were the women placed here to partner up with Jackasses like Kendall and myself and Bobertz and Bill.......No one could have a better partner and friend than I do and I suspect those other guys feel the same way about their "buddies" as well. I dunno' why she married me or how she puts up with me and if the very rare but very huge MCM appears at times, then its damn little price to pay.

Spaw