Another day, another man for breakfast.

Guess I'll just take a shower, get dressed, and go shoot somebody. It's my duty as an American and especially as a kill-crazy, baby-killing, gun-owning, veteran of the Vietnam Era. Oh, wait. I'll have to kill six or seven people since I haven't killed anyone in the last week or so; otherwise I'll be cited for Failure To Murder Enough People.

Gotta keep the average up, you know!

Or maybe I'll just drive to work, go to the three meetings on today's agenda, go home afterwards, eat dinner, have a beer, watch a LITTLE television (History Channel, most likely), go to bed, and leave the killin' for another day.

But my average is going to drop way lower than, say, Ebbie's this year.