All I can say is you.... asked for it!! After four false starts (I guess you could say I was tunestipated) .. I came up this which I picture it being sung accompanied by a stick dulcimer .. sung by?

DUNG SPITTEN

So what do ye think of our Brit dung spitten
Sitten and spitten whats fit for shitten
Making up rules like it might be fitten
To give out medals for distance hitten

It's time to compete so I must be getten
I like to warm up by chicken butt licken
Drinken warm ale til my heart quits ticken
Then I'm finally fit for Brit dung spitten

(Joe Offer .. I would not recommend this song for your Church kids)