I agree that the audience should join in when asked.

Here are other forms of behavior that I object to:

People clapping for short solos at the ballet. Bad for the orchestra. Besides, those who start dancing next deserve our attention.

People clapping for solos at ragtime concerts. Somebody doing a section alone is just not that big a deal. Besides, it masks the next person's entrance.

People who want everybody to know how knowledgeable they are, so they start applauding one nanosecond after the last note of a piece, before the musician has let it come to an end.