Jack & Jill went up the hill,
They each had a buck and a quarter.
Jill came down with two and a half,
They didn't go after water!

Rub-a-dub-dub,
Three men in a tub,
Does that make a menage-a-trois?
And if they're rub-dubbing,
While doing their tubbing,
Let's hope they omit the ben-wa's.

Hi diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle,
The cow got shagged on the moon...

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells, and cockle shells,
And one friggin' petunia!

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children,
She set a Guinness record for her episiotomy