OK, LH, How about this. Steal a couple of skateboards, narrow them down on a tablesaw, attach strings to the front. Superglue the badger-dogs to them with their toes just touching the floor.
They'll walk all right when you take them for a tow, I'll bet, and if they don't, their toenails will automatically get trimmed.
Advantages? No spinal probs (the dogs,) auto toenail trimming, they'll damn-well use that ramp if they want to come in, exercise for you (or tow them with the car,) no walkies refusals.
Disadvantages. Better let the rear end hang over, and you may have to hose them daily. Oh, and better drill a hole for the boy dogs.

See what you can come up with when you put your mind to it? A solution worthy of Bobert.
Or even Shane.