There's a lot of difference between a horse chestnut and a chestnut horse.

(old proverb)
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Re: 'Dachshunds make excellent toilet bowl brushes!'

Is there a problem dachshund in your life, Spaw? If so, I sympathize.

The people next door to me have a dachshund. This dog is so stupid that it doesn't recognize me, my voice or my smell after four years of friendly interaction.

When they put her in the yard, they have to shout 'Go poddy! go poddy!' It's embarrassing!

However, it would be dangerous to use her for a toilet-bowl brush. She might go right down the pipe, seeking prey.