The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #22838   Message #250247
Posted By: JenEllen
01-Jul-00 - 06:13 PM
Thread Name: Song Challenge! Part 31
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31
When I read this story in the paper all I could do was laugh and think about the Utah Phillips 'Goodnight/Lovin' lines
"Well Doc, ya ever seen anything like it?"
"Yeah, but not with a frame around it."

Please accept this as my humble submission.*bg*

Love's Final Stand (to the tune of 'Song For All The Good People')

I left bright and early, to see my gal Shirley
We were in love, and she was my friend
An engagement ring, to her I would bring
Never knowing how my trip would end

This is a song for all the good people
All the good people, who saved my life
This is a song for all the good people
People I'm thanking my stars for tonight

Just on a wild lark, I stopped at the state park
Some wild flowers to her I would take
So I walked on my way, gathered my bouquet
And back to the car, with one last stop to make

I closed the 'pot door, set my bundle on the floor
To make this lightning fast pit-stop
Dropped my pants like a rocket, and turned out my pocket
Then from below came a sickening 'plop'


Fast forgotten was my pee, as I turned 'round to see
Peering down in the dim morning light
There were may car keys, I gasped in the dank breeze
For glinting beside them was her ring, on the right

I fished with the flowers for nearly an hour
I tried a tree branch, then tried my hand
I needed something stronger, it had to be longer
I sighed, and prepared for Love's Final Stand


I took my pants down, laid them on the ground
Turned to face "Johnny", and stuck my feet in
It was slicker than it looked, a second was all it took
And there I was in it clean up to my chin

I yelled for an hour, made daisy-chains with the flowers
Resigned to my fate, I was stuck here quite tight
Then a beautiful sight, a blinding bright light
And a policeman who asked me "Hey Buddy, y'all right?"


The ensuing extraction nearly put me in traction
Wearing a toilet seat, and smelling like a rose
The driver said "Honey, you're walking kinda funny.."
I smiled and showed her what was clenched in my toes

They took me downtown, in a hospital gown
Shirley showed up, I proposed, and she grinned
She'd be my wife, and be with me for life
But I'll be damned if I tell her where that ring has been


So my story has ended, not quite as intended
I still got married, sweet as ya please
But when we walk in the park, or stay out after dark
Shirley always holds on to the keys

This is a song for all the good people
All the good people who saved my life
This is a song for all the good people
All the good people, and Shirley, my wife