I'll start.

(OK, I already did, sort of, in the BS thread. But here's the rest.)


THE POLAR BEARS ARE CHERRY

(Tune: The Holly Bears A Berry - in the DT)
Parody by Genie)

I'm a polar bear so merry and white as the milk,
But the one they sent to please me was of my own ilk.

chorus:
I'm very bored - Jesus! - unsavored still to be,
For the mate they sent has no wood, for "he" is a "she,"
Golly! Aw, gee!
In my cage I've not yet seen wood, for "he" is a "she,"

I'm a polar bear so very keen for a toss,
But I'll ne'er be a mama bear when my mate is a lass!

cho:
I'm very bored - Jesus! - unsavored still to be,
For the mate they sent has no wood, for "he" is a "she,"
Golly! Aw, gee!
In my cage I've not yet seen wood, for "he" is a "she,"

Now us polar bears are hairy and horny ol' souls,
But we can't add to our species when neither has a pole.

cho:
I'm very bored - Jesus! - unsavored still to be,
For the mate they sent has no wood, for "he" is a "she,"
Golly! Aw, gee!
In my cage I've not yet seen wood, for "he" is a "she,"

"Both the polar bears are cherry, both white and unwed,
Very bored and needlessly paired up in bed."

cho:
I'm very bored - Jesus! - unsavored still to be,
For the mate they sent has no wood, for "he" is a "she,"
Golly! Aw, gee!
In my cage I've not yet seen wood, for "he" is a "she,"