Jerry, you've been around here long enough to know there is nothing new at the 'Cat. In this case though I am ashamed of you for not knowing that one of the long time mascots of the Mudcat Cafe is a clay ocarina. Back in '99 we were on a thread called "Where Do All Kazoos Go" and Rick (Fielding) mentioned he had a rosewood kazoo. Now you knew Rick......and only Rick would have a rosewood kazoo......You'd expect no less! After he mentioned it I ragged him a bit with the following post:


Rick....Rick.........Bro........Mudcateer.........pard.......We need to talk.

You bought a ROSEWOOD freakin' KAZOO???? Kong Kazoos don't cut it huh? A Rosewood Kazoo...is that East Indian or the even more humbling Brazilian? Did this guy offer you anything else? Jade Ocarina? Bubinga and Padauck Slide whistle? Madagascan Ebony Nose Flute? A Tiple maybe?

Well that'll about do it! I mean Karen has offered to let me get one of the animal ocarinas, but I'm holding out for one where I blow up a possum's ass. But a rosewood kazoo?   Two questions left...........First, is this guy still around and second...Does He Have Anymore???


That crack about the possum's ass and all was a throw-off line......just a joke. But a few days later "Barbara Blessings" offered to try and make one! Thus was born CLEIGH O'POSSUM. Yep.....There he is and if you'll notice unnderneath his tail, the player does indeed blow up the possum's ass! Cleigh spends most of his time in his place of honor next to his friend the armadillo and the Little Pissant in a display case in our dining room, but as you see he has gone on a few trips including the one to Niagara Falls where he got to meet Rick and even gave Brother Fielding the chance to have a little toot up his ass! (Scroll Down to Third Photo)



And then of course dear Jerry, you should have been aware that the Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed, which offers free treatment to all 'Catters and free transport aboard our Insanevac Chopper, has long used the noseflute as a form of treatment. I mentioned that again only a few years back in this post:

Subject: RE: BS: The Socialization of Necessity
From: catspaw49 - PM
Date: 24 Jul 06 - 07:52 PM

Amos and Wyzzy ... You two should know better and recall that reproduction now rates right up there with breathing. Remember the discovery made by Dr. Cajones at the NYCFTTS while he was doing the brainwashing for the CIA? He was training crazed tiple and noseflute bands you might recall to aid in world overthrow when he found a previously unknown channel between the sinuses and the gonads. One of the nose flute players had a cold and when he sneezed while playing the Oscar Mayer Wiener ditty, his balls exploded.

Slag, you need to read up on these things before you post. The Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed has led the way in many social problems (the chief one being Neil himself) and answered age old questions about our culture as a whole.




Established in 1999, the NYCFTTS also trained crazed tiple and noseflute bands for the CIA as a means of world domination. I had this to say about it back in 2000.................



The NYCFTTS is a clinic facility located in Montana and supported by the Mudcat in conjunction with the CIA. Patients are treated through the use of tiples & noseflutes and the CIA uses the crazed tiple-noseflute bands as a means of world overthrow since their powers of assassination have been curtailed.

Elizabeth Dole lost out in her chances for the presidency because her husband, known to all through his TV ads, had a problem with ED (erectile dysfunction). A crazed NYCFTTS band was sent and when Ol' Bob was getting out of the shower one morning, they played the Oscar Mayer Wiener song outside of his window, causing an immediate erection. In his exuberance, the senator ran from the house and through Rock Creek Park in his shorts screaming, "Its a WOODY!!!! I GOT WOOD!!!" This of course obliterated any chances Ms. Dole may have had.

Cletus was a member of that group, having been sent to the Center for his own addiction. While using the computer one evening he happened upon the infamous dancing gerbils and stared at the screen for 9 days in a row. Paw and the Reg boys (Rick Fielding's half brothers--Reg, Reg, and Reg) were overcome with grief and missed him so much that they took off to Montana to get Cletus back. Their sense of direction was a bit off and they wound up in Silver Springs, Maryland where Bill D. threw them off his lawn and sent them back in the other direction. Along the way they began arguing and Paw and the Reg boys like to came to blows. This arguing peaked in Fredericksberg, Maryland where they all accused Reg of not having the sense to poor piss out of a boot with the instructions on the heel. Then Reg accused Reg of the same thing and Paw accused Reg.....well, you get my drift.

Anyhow, they sat down on a railroad track and took off their boots to see who could do it and they were merrily whizzing away not noticing a Norfolk-Southern freight bearing down upon them. A passing news crew filmed this whole thing and luckily a State Trooper happened to pass and saw the disaster about to happen and shoved them out of the way. They were saved, but their boots were lost and I was called to retrieve the whole damn bunch. Before I could get there they had become such celebrities that a local store had given them new boots and they were off after Cletus again.

Once again though, there sense of direction failed them and they wound up at Sandy Paton's place in Connecticut where Sandy sold them the soundhole out of a Larrivee and sent them happily on their way. They did eventually get back here and Cletus was released after participating in an experiment at the NYCFTTS to cure the common cold using nose flutes for that as well.

Hence the NYCFTTS is a bit of the Mudcat Icon as well. I hope this has been helpful. All of this stuff is on the threads....just enter Cletus, Paw, Buford, and the Reg Boys, or Neil Young in the Supersearch. Are you still curious about Cleigh O'Possum? The ASSparagus farm? Fly-By-Nite Industries and the Amish-Australian Pitchfork Moustache Tuner? The Little Pissant? Want to buy a Gordon Bok Fan with the special switch that turns it on towards morning?Anything you need to know, feel free to ask.

Play your cards right and one day YOU might get to blow up a possum's ass!!!!!

Spaw