"Rough By Southwest"

The following was an announcement made over
the P.A. system of a Southwest Airlines flight (or
so they say)...

From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "Welcome
aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate
your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle,
and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt
and if you don't know how to operate one, you
probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised.

"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure,
oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop
screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face.

"If you have a small child traveling with you, secure
your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are
traveling with two small children, decide now which
one you love more."