The Christmas (Shopper) Song

Tune: The Christmas Song
Parody lyrics by Genie (Jeanene Pratt


Shoppers rushing like a house on fire,
Jack-knifed shopping carts in rows,
Jewels, died apparel - they buy junk by the quire,
These blokes stressed out like angry foes.

Everbody knows some turkey who must spend his dough
Buying everything in sight.
His tiny tots who are wise, in the know,
Will make it hard for him to fight.

They know Dad Santa's ripe to play --
He's loaded! and there's lots of ways to get their way,
And all these mama's boys are gonna cry
And show such pain, dear, if their parents don't buy.

And so the stores are offering this simple phrase
To shoppers ten to ninety-two:
Come, swipe those cards many times, many ways!
Mercenary Christmas to you!