The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #116602   Message #2506122
Posted By: Q (Frank Staplin)
02-Dec-08 - 02:52 PM
Thread Name: Origins: Lili Marleen
Subject: RE: Origins: Lili Marleen
Joe, a few minor corrections to the working copy, taken from "Die Laterne," the book of poems and 'thoughts' by Hans Leip, where the poem was published.
Two general notes-
German poetry does not start a line with Upper case letter unless the line starts a sentence. The same is true of Spanish. However, in English we find this wrong. You may wish to follow English useage.

Poetic usage of stehen and similar words, eliminating the 'e' to eliminate the syllable, as stehn, does not call for an apostrophe.

Verse 1
line 10 ...Kaserne, (add comma)
line 3- ...Laterne, add comma)
line 4- sie, not die
line 5- "so wolln wir uns da wiedersehn"; In poetical German when an 'e' is removed, apostrophes are not inserted.
wiedersehn is one word.
lines 4-5- commas after each line
line 6- stehn.
lines 7-8- comma after wie einst,
Leip did not repeat line 7 in his poem, but it is sometimes repeated when sung.
line 2- sahn. Period at end of line.
Line 3- comma at end,
line 4- period after daraus.
lines 5-6, end with comma,
line-7- wie einst, (add comma after einst in all verses)
lines 1-2- add commas at end
line 3- kosten! (add !)
line 4- kamerad (the 'e' is used and pronounced)
line 4- Kamerad, ich komm ja gleich (not sogleich). Period after gleich.
line 6- gehn
Line 6-7- add commas at end of line,
line 7- Mit dir, Lili Marleen (add comma)
line 1- add comma at end,
line 2- Deinen zieren Gang, (not schoenen); comma at end,
line 3- comma at end,
line 4- remove 'Doch'; mich vergass sie lang, is the corect ending to line 3. Add period after lang.
line 5- geschehn (poetical), Add comma at end,
line 6- stehn
line 7- mit dir, (add comma)
line 1- add comma at end,
line 4- ...Mund. Add period at end.
line 5- ...drehn, add comma
line 6- poetically, Werd ich bei der laterne stehn
line 7- wie einst, Lili Marleen.

Based on the poem in "Die Laterne, Lieder und Gedichte."