Three surgeons, a Russian, an American and a Briton were discussing transplants (as you do).

The Russian : "I transplanted a heart into a man, and six months later he was looking for work".

The American :"I transplanted a heart and a kidney into a man, and three months later he was looking for work".

The Briton : "In the UK we transplanted a pillock from Kircaldy to Downing Street - and now we're all looking for work".

I'll get me Barbour . . .