Why, oh why must the drummer in our band bring his bloody pit bull terrier to gigs! The dog not only gets under our feet on stage but produces terror-inducing farts - RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE!

(There isn't a spleen-inducing thread about drummer's farting pit bull terriers but, rather than wait for one to start, I thought I'd have a preliminary spleen-vent in advance).

Hope that's OK.