When I had my sinus surgery years ago, the Dr left some drainage tube thingies in my nose for a few days. I think you could probably achieve the same result with cocktail straws. The only problem would be guessing how far they go in: not far enough and they don't keep the passages open, too far and you get a DIY lobotomy. I should also say that removal of my drainage tube thingies was the absolutely most intense pain I've ever felt, even if it only lasted about .1 seconds.

I'm sorry you had evil alien snot up your nose, Bruce. Netti pots or a saline rinse probably are more effective than jamming wads of wet toilet tissue up your schnoz. At least you wouldn't be sneezing dingleberries for weeks afterwords.