One word, Gnu-zer: Beano!!!

Here's another idea... Get a baggie and hide it in yer pocket... When you get to yer in-laws fake like you have a cold and have a heavy duty hankie on hand... The hankie is gonna have to be heavy duty 'cause it's gonna be the delivery vehicle from the afke cough to the baggie on yer lap... No one is gonna notice nuthin' with that many people at the table fightin' over the soppy garlic bread... I guarentee it... Okay, yer gonna have to figure out how to get the baggie outta the house but yer smart... Maybe a coat or sweater on the back of yer chair...

Then, of course, stop on the way home from the family and get you a pizza... Yer wife won't care, really... She knows that the food is lousy...

Good luck...

B~