Gnu, your cookin' female relative is obviously a member of my mother's extended kin-group, 'cause my mother could spoil food for Canada. If a recipe had a delicious but somewhat expensive ingredient, she would substitute a less-expensive and, you guessed it, much less delicious ingredient that sort of looked like the original and that was enough for her. Cream sauce? Too much trouble, and it involves butter and cream -- couldn't have that. Canned cream of mushroom soup -- Top Valu, ten cents cheaper than Campbell's -- would do fine. (Not.)

I started cooking at the age of 12, in pure self-defence. Armed with determination and a copy of Fannie Farmer's Boston Cooking School Cook Book, I started with pancakes and omelette, and could turn out a darned good meat-and-two-veg with pud for dessert for the whole family plus guests/boarders (five to eight people) by the time I was through Grade 10. My Dad, whose mother was a seriously good cook, taught me how to make soup stock, gravy and stew, and what to put into canned beans to make them taste like beans you had made yourself (Dijon mustard and a dash of Worcestershire sauce). The rest I learned from books.

Mum charged me for the ingredients of dishes that failed. With eggs at 10 cents apiece, butter a dollar a pound, and an income derived from babysitting, I learned to damn' well pay attention to what I was doing.

After more than 40 years at the stove, my cooking style has simplified a great deal. In my 20s I was ambitious, making complex dishes like duck à l'orange (it takes hours) and eagerly spicing and herbing up whatever I got my claws on. Not so much these days -- one of the best recipes I know (Norwegian lamb and cabbage stew) has five ingredients, including salt and pepper, and makes an excellent company dish. A roast of beef takes just thyme, garlic, salt and pepper and careful attention to time and oven temperature, and everyone at dinner feels like they're getting a real treat, because they are.

As for recipes, the first time I use one I make it exactly as written, then note what I like about it and what doesn't work. If necessary, I change it, noting the variations on the original recipe. (All my cookbooks and recipe cards are written on.) My favourite fruitcake recipe works far better if I double the quantity (to make three loaves instead of one square pan) and bake it for half the recommended time. Jam and marmalade recipes that don't call for pectin often underestimate the time required to boil for set.

All in all, I consider cooking a craft that takes years to learn and constant practice to maintain skills. People like my mother are bad cooks because they disdain work -- especially if it's traditionally women's work -- that takes a lot of time and trouble, and produces only transitory results.

Cooking is like music: the fresh loaf or the song lasts as long as it lasts, but the sweet memory lingers for ever.