Sorry I'm late but I was busy falling in love this weekend.

The Miser And The John (To the tune of: SHOALS OF HERRING)

Well I am a jogger and a running man As it's through the park I'm bearing Saw the john and felt the urge Knew my bowels I had to purge, Now it's a toilet seat I'm wearing,

I stepped in side and turned to drop my pants And crouched to perch upon the hole But my change fell out With my pocket inside out And a quarter tumbled down below.

Now good money is nothing to sneeze at I'm sure you would agree sir. But to wade in piss and shit Needs better reason than two bits So inside I tossed my car keys sir.

My plan was sound my reasoning secure I needed the keys for my new Lexus. So I stepped into the hole But slipped and fell below Wedged in the seat that protects us.

I could not move I could not turn, My goods I could not reach, sir So I called for help Hollared bawled and yelped Till children told their mother

Now once again I am a free man, Out of that awful water I have my keys And drive where I please, But I didn't get my quarter.