"New Vocabulary Words"

1) Arachnoleptic fit (n.) The frantic dance performed
just after you've accidentally walked through a
spider web.

2) Beelzebug (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito
that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning
and cannot be cast out.

3) Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid
people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
of breaking down in the near future.

4) Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which
renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite
period.

5) Dopelar effect (n.) The tendency of stupid ideas to
seem smarter when you come at them rapidly.

6) Extraterrestaurant (n.) An eating place where you
feel you've been abducted and experimented upon.
Also known as an E-T-ry.

7) Foreploy (n.) Any misrepresentation or outright lie
about yourself that leads to sex.

8) Intaxication (n.) Euphoria at getting a tax refund,
which lasts until you realize it was your money to
start with.

9) Kinstirpation (n.) A painful inability to move relatives
who come to visit.