I just finished another batch of three, all of which are spoken for and eagerly anticipated.

Why is store fruitcake so vile? Because the proportion of flour to fruit is much too high, and the egg and butter level way too low. Also, it's innocent of alcohol.

Good fruitcake is fiendishly expensive to make, and you can tell by the price of the stuff at the supermarket that it's cheap and nasty in every sense of that phrase.