The fact is, Ah've nae had ma lugs rung in ower a year. Tae ca' me a nyaff an' a glaikit gowk is nae way tae speak tae a braw laddie wha wis at the Battle o' Bannockburn hisel, an' Stirling Bridge too. Ye shuid be ashamed tae sae sich things. As fer ma bahookie, dinna mess wi' that!