I've had some really delicious commercially available fruitcakes - probably not from the supermarket - but they are not at all cheap (even without the shipping).   They can be one of the most expensive gifts to order from the mail order specialty catalogues.   
The good ones are quite moist (unless your predisposition to despise them leads you to leave them untouched for months till one day in August you smoke some good stash and finally get around to the old fruitcake after eating everything else in sight). They usually contain dried fruit, pecans, walnuts, etc. and are more fruit than cake.
I'll add that they're incredibly fattening!

As for weiner dogs turning up their noses at them, heck, I question the gourmet discrimination of any critter that eats the chunks out of the cat's litter box. ; D