It's not very helpful to say there are "no good women here" for those of us who don't know where you are.

A better definition than "middle aged" is truly needed now than in the past, as in many places that means 30 but elsewhere it actually is nearer 50 or beyond.

1. If possible, attend your next high school reunion. You knew them then, and they will mostly have much in common by way of background and culture that you will be able to relate to easily, instead of digging out the details via a new meeting. And by "middle age" (by whatever is your definition) there will likely be a number who are currently "unattached."

1.a. If there isn't a reunion coming up soon, your class may have a "class directory" that you could request from one of the "organizers" if you can identify one.

1.b. If "going back" is of interest, and you don't know who your organizers are, there are a number of websites (Classmates.com, Reunion.com, etc.) where you may be able to find at least one or two people you remember who could put you in touch with more interesting ones. NOTE: these sites are all total crap as websites and for the purposes intended, some require "membership" to look around, and "paid memeberships" to actually communicate with anybody; but you're desparate so you should be able to glean what's available with minimal commitment.

2. Volunteer to help with a community or church "youth group." You're obviously NOT INTERESTED in the typically late-adolescent members of the group (although many groups include up through college student ages), but they will instantly pass on to their mothers/aunts/uncles(if they think you're interested) that there's a new "eligible" in circulation. The drawback to this approach is that you have to tolerate (or even like) being around the nasty little "youthy" buggers, but there are risks to everything.

3. Rather than trying to join web "dating sites," or even just visiting the ones where you don't have to sign up, try running a "within x miles of" browse at MySpace (no registration or even login required to look) or at other "personal page" sites for persons who might match up. (Look for sites you don't have to join?)

The free "dating sites" and many of the paid ones are often more come-ons for porn and prostitution than for dating. The "personal page" sites of more general nature are less likely to produce only "commercial soliciting." (If your middle-age definition extends a little upward, be aware that 30% of the "over 50" females at MySpace are actually 13 lying about their age to "avoid perverts.")

The purpose here is not to find someone. It's a market survey to see what's actually available in your area. And remember that it doesn't represent the entire market.

4. There are probably a number of organizations for "middle aged singles" in your area, although they may be disguised under less obvious names. Check the "clubs and activities" section of a local newsapaper - or sometimes better yet in a local free "undergound" newspaper that you'll likely find on a table near the "rest rooms" at Borders or Barnes. A well-known one that probably will have at least similarly aged membership, as an example only, is called "Parents Without Partners." They require that you have a child, although you don't have to have custody and some groups will accept you if you have "frequent supervision" of one even if it's not yours, and you must (in my area) have a preacher or a lawyer certify that you're single. Quality of membership in this one is extremely variable and I'm not recommending them - just suggesting the kinds of groups you can look for, and a typical disguese for one. There should be at least a few other vaguely similar orgs for you to check out if you're willing to do some hunting.

5. With your expressed aversion to dating you probably aren't much enamored of joining organizations; but you must recognize that to find people you must be where there are people. Don't just sit at home polishing your butt and hoping something will come along without any effort on your own part. But DON'T go places that you truly don't like, since you're quite unlikely to like the people who like them.

John