Oh, fer Chrissake.....! You expect me to wade through all that?

As you know, Spaw, I had tried to secure that vintage Bigmouth Billy Bass for you at the garage sale last summer, but when I went back for it, it was gone.

I've been depressed ever since.

It was still working too. It started singing when I walked by it the first time, and it worked well on repeated testings.

I should have bought it right then when I had the chance! But no, I hesitated, and he who hesitates is lost.

Oh woe is me! And woe is you too. This birthday could have been so special for you, had I struck while the iron was hot.

I hardly know what to say, man. I have failed. Failed miserably. I am not fit to be ground up into dog chow.

Well, happy birthday anyway, I guess....but I am still not going to wade through that whole frikkin' story you just posted. There are limits to my friendship and generosity. I know it's hard to believe...but I'm only human, eh? ;-)