Maynard was the I/C of the mission that laid Edward Teach low--not his cousin Blackbear Teach, who was a fur trader up in the Colorado Rockies at the time.

Rapaire, your very names strike terror in the heart of uninhabited places.

To save space, here are a few punch lines. You may tailor the back stories to fit your own perfervid imaginings:

"You should never change streams in the middle of a horse."
"People who live in grass houses shouldn't steal thrones."
"Absinthe made thee, Hargrove Fonda...".
"I wanted to learn if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother...".

and of course the ultimate punch line:

"Goodness no...he wasn't that shaggy."

A