Here's a Hull version of the two tom cats; My mother waited till I was about fifty years old before revealing the full version of verse two...Not for more delicate readers.

You know last night, the night before,
Two tom cats came knocking at the door.
I went downstairs to let them in,
They hit me on the head with a rolling pin.

I went upstairs to get into bed,
They threw the pisspot at my head.
I went downstairs to dry my shimmy,
Fell in the fire and burnt my jimmy.