I've been studiously trying to avoid any further posts to this thread, hoping it would mercifully fall off the bottom of the page. But that doesn't seem to be happening, so I'll add my bit.

I can see definite parallels with songs circles and Irish tune sessions.

At one end of the spectrum, there are elite Irish sessions where you practically have to audition to be able to even sit in the sacred circle. Or it's by invitation only. The high-level players want to play at their high level and don't want anyone to muck it up. Semi-elite sessions might allow you to sit in the circle, perhaps even play softly, but never be expected or allowed to lead a tune. They just want to be able to play at the highest level, and don't seem to be concerned about bringing any less experienced plays up to that level.

At the other end are strictly beginner sessions where everyone sits in front of a music stand and very slowly plays note for note off the music. There's no life to the music, it's simply just notes, and no one progresses beyond that stage. That may be enjoyable to some, but I would think they would eventually get tired of it.

Then there's the intermediate level sessions - some good and some bad. Sometimes a new want-to-be player has to be told politely or not-politely to sit and listen until they learn how to play the music (the right rhythm, speed, etc.), or even leave if they are really annoying the other players. Some sessions may play too fast for your taste, or too slow. Some are very welcoming to new plays, others may not be. So you have to choose the session that best fits your needs and desires. And if you can't find such as session, then start your own. It's traditional music, and there's no ONE right way to play it, although there may be many bad ways.

There's a lot of session etiquette and unwritten rules that you just have to learn by observing and using some common sense. A few times I've been blown away trying to lead a particular version of a tune when someone else pays no attention to the tune I've started and loudly plays his/her own version or ramps up the speed. One has to learn that the person who starts the tune has the right to choose the version and speed of the tune, and others should first listen and follow that lead. Good session players pay close attention to all the other players, particularly to the one who's leading the tune. A wink of the eye, a nod of the head, or a lifted foot will signal when a tune will end or new tune will begin.

Tune session players can get into the same arguments (even worse!) as we've gotten into here about song sessions or circles. I think we all have to be more accepting of others, and if the session we're in doesn't suit us, find one that does, or start our own session. All sessions, tune or song, should involve learning and growing in the music.

Cheers, S. in Seattle