Oh, this is the place where the high schoolers gather,
With Trojans and Durex and some parts battened down;
All sizes and figures with old lines and jiggers,
They congregate here on the teen spawning ground.

Some are workin' their jiggers while others are liein',
Some try standin' up but there's more lyin' down;
While all kinds of fun, kisses, and tricks are begun
As they wait for a "YES!" on the teen spawning ground.

There's jocks of all ages and nerds in the bargain;
There's senior Bill Cave and there's frosh Raymond Brown,
There's redheaded Bevvy in the back of a Chevy,
Ready for Tom on the teen spawning ground.

There's kids from the High School and some from the college,
In all kinds of motorcars, green, red and brown;
Right yonder is Bobbi and with her is Nobby,
They're kissy-face here on the teen spawning ground.

The man with the cop car is Officer Steele;
He's gettin' well up but he's still pretty sound.
His siren and red light will make all of them take flight
Whenever he's out on the teen spawning ground.