I FOUND IT!!! It was here all along, filed in a special folder of war songs, rather than in the main sheet music collection.



HE WAS THE FIFTH TO FIND THE FIRTH OF FORTH
(Larry Royal, Billy Faber, & Shelby Darnell, 1942)

Verse: In the Pages of History
       There is one Man of Mystery.
       a man whose name we speak of with awe.
       His deed was so stupendous
       Colossal and tremendous!
       A teardrop dims the eye
       When one talks about this guy

Chorus: He was the fifth to find the Firth of Forth
         He wasn't first or second, third or fourth.
         Oh! A famous man was he
         He didn't know he'd found the Firth of Forth
         His compass pointed South instead of North
         And so he fell into the Firth of Forth
         And went down in History
         All hail to this great whos-is
         We can't recall his name.
         But hail hail to dear old whos-is
         Everyone knows of his fame.
         We ought to build a something of some sort
         In memory of this famous fearless sport
         Who was the fifth to find the Firth of Forth
         Yes a famous man was he

         He was the fifth to find the Firth of Forth
         As history ever will remember henceforth.
         A rumor said he fled an irate wife
         Who had vowed she'd have his life.
         The gossip mongers changed a true report
         He only sought for some secluded port
         When all at once there loomed the Firth of Forth
         Now his deed is history
         All hail to this great whos-is
         We can't recall his name.
         But hail hail to dear old whos-is
         Everyone knows of his fame.
         There is a moral to this poignant tale
         So do be careful as you go along
         Or else some screwy guy will write a song
         Like the first Fifth Firth of Forth!

          Larry Royal, Billy Faber, & Shelby Darnell
Published in 1942. Bob Miller, Inc. New York

Wellllll... I guess the rarity justifies the post!

:-)