I love viola jokes: The conductor of the orchestra is sick suddenly. It's announced the evening's performance will be cancelled. Up steps the first chair violist who claims he knows the music well enough to conduct the orchestra. They give him a chance, and he does brilliantly that night conducting his comrades. The next night the conductor is back and the first violist re-takes his seat in the orchestra. His stand-mate nudges him and says "Where were you last night.?"