This is a world forum. As such, we constantly meet diverse opinions-- on music, life, sexual orientation,religion, philosophy, politics, guns, "freedom", women, men, so-called"inappropriate language", rules on exclusion/inclusion: ie, the man-woman thread about hearme)... In other words, anything where *I-we-you-they* agree or disagree. The key is not to be concerned about who is *right*...but, rather, the manner in which we choose to respond to the person whose view raises our hackles.

Some choose to be confrontational, with the defense that they "say it like it is"...proclaiming that they are open and honest and blunt. That's BS. YOUR belief doesn't have to be pounded into me. You can disagree, but do it with respect. Respect is a much abused word these days. It has come to mean "don't tread on me, man (woman)!

It should mean : I don't hold the same belief as you, but I can discuss it with you civilly. Without name calling. Or I can choose to ignore the discussion, and NOT reply.

I believe this is important, because more and more, we are talking in these forums across cultures and countries. Even when we use the same language, we are not talking with the same cultural expectations.

My vow is this: To try to avoid responding in kind to flames or unkind words.

"The Sufis advise us to speak only after our words have managed to pass through three gates.

At the first gate, we ask ouselves, 'Are these words true?' If so, we let them pass on; if not, back they go.

At the second gate, we ask, 'Are they necessary?'

At the last gate, we ask, 'Are they kind?'"