Spaw, don't be so rough. Bobert just wants somebody to talk to.

It's an open secret that Bobert is a rocket scientist in disguise. Actually, he owns a personal shopping cart with an old Corvette engine. He has stepped the power down using an array of sewing-machine foot pedals linked together in series.

But if all you folks are living in areas where nobody can manage a fleet of shopping carts, then I suggest you move to Kansas City. Kansas City is an engineering center, and we know how to do this stuff. I haven't had a shopping cart with a wobbly wheel for several years.

When I shop, I park far from the door, and I try to get a cart that's been left out. I figure that the cart gives me a bigger silhouette and reduces the chance of being run down by some idiot who's talking on the cell and listening to the Ipod while driving.