The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #117430 Message #2544428
Posted By: Little Hawk
20-Jan-09 - 05:47 PM
Thread Name: BS: Middle Age Dating
Subject: RE: BS: Middle Age Dating
Good for you, Lizzie. ;-) I think that a great many women feel that sexuality is a sacred thing, and I agree with that viewpoint.
But anyway, I was thinking about it some for the past couple of hours and I believe I have figured out what is the crux of the matter for me.
I need to know the person fairly well before I can know whether I want to make love to her, and it takes time to get to know a person. It takes a few meetings and a number of conversations before you can feel that you know someone. Till then they're just a stranger. I don't care how good looking a stranger is, I may find her quite attractive, but I definitely don't want to get physically intimate with her until I feel that I know her.
I want some mental intimacy and some emotional intimacy with a person prior to embarking on physical intimacy, because physical intimacy is damn serious business as far as I'm concerned. It's not like going to the movies or grabbing a quick bite at the restaurant. It's something that involves my entire being on the most personal level, my whole sense of my own worth, and I don't involve my entire being on the most personal level with people whom I don't even know yet.
It just would not make any sense to me to do that. It would be almost as weird to me as signing a business partnership with someone I don't even know yet.
Now, if I'd had a completely different life...if I'd been a famous music "star" or something, and I'd had a million casual offers from starstruck female fans over the years...well, maybe I'd have gotten a lot more casual about it. Hard to say. After all, it's not "nice" to say "no" to a woman, they say... I'd have to be there, and then I'd find out. ;-) Maybe in another lifetime.