She's gone. This afternoon she just wasn't at all happy, couldn't get to her box, her purr was broken.

You go through the ringer with vets at this time, I've been here before. If they see your animal for years you'd think they'd offer condolences and help them pass easily and so you can afford it. My vet was out so we'd have to wait till tomorrow, then pay $75 for the shot. I didn't want her to suffer. I called a 24/7 vet in the area. $140. "That's very expensive." "We had to include an exam." "She's dying, an exam won't help that, there isn't someone who can simply administer the shot?" Nope. I hung up.

Thank goodness for the Humane Society. I called and asked if they could recommend someone, and she said they do euthanization and ask for a donation only, no set price. "It's the last kind thing we can do for our pets, so it needs to be simple and affordable." I took her down. It was hard, I didn't go in back. It hurts just as much, but maybe it's faster for her if the attendant doesn't have to be careful for my feelings and can just take care of her quickly.

I have the tree picked out and we'll bury her this afternoon. I spoke with Moonglow for a while, and I asked her if she thought I should bury her by myself or wait for her brother. "I'd want to help," she said, so I had her name what she thought we should bury with her. Her bell, to let everyone know she's coming, and toy. She always carried around my son's hair elastics, so we'll include one of those. And I'll explain to him that she'll be buried under the tree I planted to protect his bedroom on the corner of the house. A street intersects with ours right in front of our house.

He's my really softhearted kid, and he's nearly 17. He named her. I'm not looking forward to this.

SRS