The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #118481   Message #2561661
Posted By: melodeonboy
09-Feb-09 - 09:37 AM
Thread Name: Song Challenge: Milkman delivers pot
Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Milkman delivers pot
He could hear his head pound
As he slouched across the ground
And the redness of his eyes
As they spun round and round
And he walked into the sink estate
Three quarters in his vest
His name was Danny
And he drove the slowest milk cart in the west

Now Danny loved a widow
A lady known as Sue
She lived all alone in Linley Lane
At number twenty two
They said she was too good for him
She was haughty, proud and chic
But Danny sold his reefers there
Three times every week
They called him Danny (Danny)
And he drove the slowest milk cart in the west

She said she'd like a few ounces
He said alright sweetheart
And when he finished work one night
He loaded up the cart
He said d'you want Morocccan ?
Cos' Moroccan's what I buy
She says Danny I'll have a Tunisian
As long as it gets me high
And that tickled old Danny (Danny)
And he drove the slowest milk cart in the west

Now Danny had a rival
An evil looking man
Called Two Toke Tom from Teddington
And he drove the baker's van
He tempted her with his king-size spliffs
And his tasty wholemeal bread
And when she took a puff of his latest skunk
It very near blew her head
She was taken aback by his Afghan black
And he said now if you treat me right
You'll have grass every morning
And resin every night
He knew once she'd sampled his space cake
He'd have his wicked way
And all Ernie had to offer
Was an eighth of Moroccan a day
Poor Ernie (Ernie)
And he drove the slowest milk cart in the west

One lunchtime Tom saw Danny's horse and cart outside her door
But he got stoned and next he knew it was nigh on half past four
And as he leaped down from his van
THC through his veins did course
And he went across to Danny's cart
And started talking to his horse
Whose name was Smokey (Smokey)
And he pulled the slowest milk cart in the west

Now Danny rushed out into the street
His resin in his hand
He said if you want to marry Susie
You'll fight for her like a man
Oh why don't we play cards for her ?
Tom slurringly replied
And just to make it interesting
We'll have a quarter on the side
Now Danny dragged him from his van
And beneath the sky so pale
The two men stood there face to face
And Tom went for his scales
But Ernie was too quick
Things didn't go the way Tom planned
And half an ounce of resin sent them spinning from his hand
Now Sue she ran between them
And tried to keep them apart
And Danny pushed her aside
And a space cake caught him underneath his heart
And he looked up in pained surprise
As the concrete hardened crust
Of some four-year old black caught him in the back
And Danny bit the dust
Poor Danny (Danny)
And he drove the slowest milk cart in the west

Danny was only fifty-two, he didn't want to die
Now he's gone to make deliveries
To the dopeheads in the sky
Where the customers are all stoned
And drug squads are banned
And a dealer's life is full of fun
In that hippy-dippy land
But a woman's needs are many fold
And Sue she married Ted
But strange things happened on their wedding night
Before they got to bed
They were up all night with the shits, why, they didn't know
Or was it that dodgy resin Danny'd sold them months ago
They won't forget Danny (Danny)
And he drove the slowest milk cart in the west