I was sent this from my sister in Australia as an e-mail


Dumb and dumber in real world



Idiotic 'Millionaire' Contestant Makes Worst Use Of Lifelines Ever





Kathy Evans, the single dumbest contestant to ever get on 'Who Wants To
Be A Millionaire?'


NEW YORK - Idaho resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends
and family Tuesday when she set a new standard for stupidity with her
appearance on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.'

It seems that Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on
the first question, and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing
'the absolute worst use of lifelines ever.'

After being introduced to the show's host Meredith Vieira, Evans assured
her that she was ready to play, whereupon she was posed with an extremely
easy $100 question. The question was:

'Which of the following is the largest?'
A) A Peanut
B) An Elephant
C) The Moon
D) Hey, who you calling large?

Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she
realized that this was a question to which she did not readily know the
answer.

'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Evans, as Vieira did her level
best to hide her disbelief and disgust. 'I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of
these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be.'

Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the
50/50. Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was bigger, an
elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly easy question,
Evans still remained unsure.

'Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed Evans. 'Darn.
I think I better phone a friend.'

Using the second of her two lifelines on the first question, Mrs. Evans
asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office assistant.


'Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!' said Evans, wasting
the first seven seconds of her call. 'Ok, I got an important question. Which
of the following is the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds
hun.' Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon. Evans proceeded
to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.

'Come on Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans. 'How sure are you? Puh, that
can't be it.' To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her
friend's advice and pick 'The Moon.'

'I just don't know if I can trust Betsy.. She's not all that bright. So
I think I'd like to ask the audience,' said Evans.

Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favour
of answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made
the dumbest choice of her life.

'Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking,' said the
too-stupid-to-live Evans. 'But you know, sometimes you just got to go
with your gut. So, let's see. For which is larger, an elephant or the moon,
I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer.'
Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with
bated breath, and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in
fact, C, 'The Moon.'


This one is actually better!!!






*Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old
fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good
home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there
without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people
were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he
changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.' The next day someone stole it.*

*Caution... They Walk Among Us!*


*One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone
shouted....'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and
said...'where???'*

**They Walk among us!!*

***
While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which
direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up
every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When my brother
explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she
shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff.' *

**They Walk Among Us!!*

****
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we
overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got
on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but
'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'.*

**They Walk Among Us!!!!*

***
I told the girl at the steakhouse register that I wanted the half
kilogram sirloin. She informed me they only had an 500g sirloin. Not wanting to
make a scene, I told her I would take the 500g steak instead of the
half-kgr.*

**They walk among us! *

****
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through
a seat belt if she gets trapped She keeps it in the boot...*

**They Walk Among Us!!!!!*

***
My friends and I were on a Lager run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier
multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.... *

**They Walk Among Us!!!!!!*

***
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring
attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, 'Wouldn't the chain
rip out every time she turned her head?' I had to explain that a person's
nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is
turned...*

**They Walk Among Us!!!!!!! *

***
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the
lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed
up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained
professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived
yet?'...*

**They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!*

***
While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza
to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it
cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before
responding..
'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6
pieces.*

**Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!!!!!!!*

*Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they also reproduce!!!!*