You invaded Canada in the War of 1812, and we sent you packing. And they weren't border disputes, you stole the land from Mexico. Apart from that, you run the World Bank and the IMF which helped get these people into debt in the first place, you are the world's biggest arms dealer, and no one likes you because you are arrogant. The only person who has ever gotten away with telling you to get lost is Castro, and that really bugs you. But don't worry, it doesn't matter, because you can do what you like, and everyone knows it. You also gave us Ava Gardner, so we forgive you.

yours, Peter T.