The real story behind the disappearance of Chongo is that he saw Mahmoud Ahmadinejad speaking on TV while hanging out in his favorite sports bar.

He decided if Ahmadinejad could make it to such a high position, he, being just as handsome could make it too. He immediately put out his last cigarette and downed the remainder of his last beer and decided to convert to Islam.

The next day he sought out and joined the nearby, local Ibrahim JhimmyJahm Mosque. In no time at all he was taken into the brother hood. They "fell in love" with his profuse body hair, especially around the face. They believed he could go far in the Islamic leadership so they took up a collection and created an education fund for him. It became known as the Chongatollah scholarship fund.

Last Wednesday he held a brief ceremony pronouncing his Shahada and denounced his Canadian chimpizenship. He then burned the flag, donned his ghutra and dishdasha and boarded a de Havilland Qr400uhf, bound for training at the Kabooma Islamic School in the mountainous tribal area of Ishmuckdick Pakistan.

He has vowed never to return to "this land of follically challenged humans and infidels".

His friends and aquaintences have gone to great lengths to cover this and avoid embarasment but they wish him well.

They keep asking themselves "where did we go wrong?" This question will probably never be answered.

Don't be suprised if you see him on TV someday in the future with his finger in the air extolling this or that about some enemy and vowing jihad on them.