Ebbie:

One point: at the boy's age of 13 his parents (the "caregiving grandparents) are probably under age 45!

My wife and I adopted (because of childlessness) at 36 or so, and again at 39; and believe you me, that's already too far along for a first child--not when Junior is a cute, cuddly little helpless thing, but 16, 17, 18 years later it can be pretty grim. The world those kids inhabited is so changed from our young days that we had no idea what was going on in and around them, and in a number of ways we failed them.

Dave Oesterreich