Nothing less than baseball bats will suffice for people like that. Their idea of a really good film is probably "Sex Lives of the Potato Men" (yes folks, it got a national showing).

I've just about given up on Odeous and Vue now. What with popcorn all over the floor, mobiles constantly going off, out of focus prints, etc etc...may they go bankrupt. Harrumph harrumph, to quote Mel Brooks.