Seagull or fish duck tend to taste very fishy in a most unpleasant way. But there is a way of getting a meal out of these fowl.

Dig a fire pit and line it with rocks. Build a good roaring fire in the pit. While the rocks are heating, take two medium size seagulls. You don't need to go to the trouble of cleaning the birds or even plucking the feathers for reasons that will become clear shortly.

Coat the birds heavily with thick mud.

When the rocks in the pit are heated practically to the glowing point, clean out the ashes and debris from the fire and place the two mud coated birds in the pit on the rocks. Bury the birds in the pit, then build another fire on top.

Since it will take several hours to cook them properly, it is a good idea to make these preparations the evening before. Once the birds are buried in the pit and the fire on top is well under way, you can then crawl into your tent for a good night's sleep.

In the morning, scrape the fire debris away and dig up the birds. You will note that the fire has turned the mud coating the birds into hard clay.

Crack the clay by slamming the birds on a large rock. Pull the clay away from the birds.

You will note that, as you remove the clay, it takes all the feathers with it (Neat, eh?).

Throw away the clay.

Throw away the birds.

Eat your tent.

Don Firth

P. S.   Garnish with a roll of Tums for GUEST,irritated, and those of similar ilk.

P. P. S. I live not too far from this troll:   CLICKY #1.   A troll in the larval stage:   CLICKY #2.   Everyone who surfs the internet needs this:   CLICKY #3.