Edinburgh toon has a fine distinction Edinburgh toon has a nice abuse Everybody knows when the east wind often blows Edinburgh toon's reduced To two conditions that could be described As the Auld Toon shuffle and the New Town stride
So cast a canny eye on the sooth side swagger Don't be taken in by the New Town taste Edinburgh toon wears a wig above a goon Baith above a belt 'n' brace But don't mistake it for Jekyll and Hyde It's the Auld Toon shuffle and the New Town stride
Because the Auld Toon shuffle and the New Town stride They walk round hand in hand But when the Auld Toon ruffles up the New Town's pride That's when the shit hits the fan
Take the office clerk in his two-piece pinstripe Lounging round the Mound like a cat in heat In the public eye wi' buttons on his fly He's the prince of Princes Street If you find him funny, joking aside He's the Auld Toon shuffle and the New Town stride
And see the slinky legs by the 'sixties Bentley Safe beneath the tweeds of a Jenners' bride Who never had a voice, never knew she had a choice Never got to lay outside I know her ugly sisters, poverty and pride They're the Auld Toon shuffle and the New Town stride
Because the Auld Toon shuffle and the New Town stride They walk round hand in hand But when the Auld Toon ruffles up the New Town's pride That's when the shit hits the face of the fan
Old man in the road with a white stick tapping Leaning in the wind at the Cowgate Head Through the funny smell he thinks that he can tell Sweeter airs are overhead But it's an uphill struggle however you ride From the Auld Toon shuffle to the New Town stride 'Cause you're one or the other, wherever you bide You're the Auld Toon shuffle and the New Town stride