I remember singing this in cars when we were late teens in Glasgow.

From what I can recall:

Oh, Mrs McVitie had only one titty to feed her baby on,
The poor little f***er had only one sucker to quench his thirst upon,
When all of a sudden a great mealy puddin' came flying through the air,
And then she ducked, and in it f***ed and hit her fair and square.