I chime in to echo Escamillo's point -- there are people here who are deliberately looking for conflict and to mess this place up. They take great pleasure in stirring up antagonism because it feeds their belief that the world is full of hypocrites denying that the real basis of life is struggle and conflict. They find any language about affection, or community, or restraint as a goad to their need to prove that antagonism is the basic ground of life. they find fighting amusing: puppetmasters.

I would also point out that this is the Internet. It is not you and me in a room together. It is very, very, difficult to assess people's words and actions when they are not present with you. As a technology this is so new that we have not learned how to manage our interpretations of other people's behaviour through this new medium -- Because it promotes intimacy so easily, we tend to think we are actually talking to people, in the same room, using the same kind of brakes that we would use in a conversation. THIS IS NOT TRUE. It is a very new experience, and we are still misjudging what we read and how we respond. It is absolutely crucial that people not rush to judgement, and be very forgiving and polite to each other. We need far more manners and mutual understanding than one does in everyday life, not less. We do not have instant feedback, and personal touches. It is very fragile. Personal gestures of goodwill and friendly meeting make it much less fragile, but not everyone can do that. That is why attacks are so hurtful, why cursing is usually a mistake, and misunderstandings are common occurences. This is multiplied a thousandfold in issues of gender, politics, and religion. I do not say that we should stay away from them: but we need to be extra patient and forgiving with miscues, misintepretations, and general problems. This is different than the deliberate saboteurs I mentioned above.

yours, Peter T.