THE DAY THE BEARDED LADY DIED
(Andre Villoch)

"The big top will be closed today," said the Ringmaster
So that we can recover from our recent disaster
The people asked what happened, and the Ringmaster sadly replied,
"I'm afraid the Bearded Lady has died"

Oh how I cried
The day the Bearded Lady died
How I loved her so

She was practicing her tight rope act
When the line just went and snapped
She was scared as she fell down
She bounced out of the net, but didn't hit the ground

Instead she flew over where the clowns were standing
They watched her land in the giant cannon,
She shot out of there with a horrible bang
And pulled off a three and a half twist through the hoop of flame

The strong man said he should have caught her
But she landed safely in a glass of water
She got out of the glass and looked around,
But she didn't see the three-ton-man sitting down

She couldn't move, she was frozen with fear
It gave new meaning to "the end is near"
Then that 6,000 pounds of fat
Squashed the Bearded Lady flat

The funeral procession crawled into town
I rode in the car with 46 sad clowns
The elephants cried, so did the apes
And the rubber man got all bent out of shape

We all thought of how we'd miss her
And her smile behind those whiskers
It was no one's fault, there's no one to blame,
But the circus will never be the same