Dear MMario,

You inspired to write a song with a moral(?) -- I hope you guys like it:

Sometimes I Feel Like A Felon, Sometimes I Don't
(Tune: Too-Ra-Loo-Ra-Loo-Ra)

Well, the guard she gave me candy,
For handing out some chips,
And when I opened up the bag,
There was joy upon my lips,
For the first time in my life now
I thought I'd won the prize,
And the sheriff wished me good luck,
But the warden's words were lies.

In the bag were blues and purples,
Wrapped around the chocolate parts,
And a game piece that said, "Winner!",
That thrilled my convict heart,
Then the warden, he said, "Trust me,"
"Put your treasure in my safe."
I looked in his eyes, but all I saw,
Was a friendly, smiling face.

Well, he called my wife and told her,
"There's a million to be had."
"But it's up to you, sweet Jenny,"
"What will happen to your lad."
She said, "Go and call the papers,"
"While I dig out my passport,"
"And we'll spend all his money,"
"Before I take him into court."

Well, the warden went on vacation,
On the day I was to win,
And my lawyer came, what a surprise,
Still I waited with a grin,
But when the steel door opened,
Melted chocolate filled the floor,
Handing me the summons, the lawyer said,
"Now you're single, but still poor!"

As I sit here reading postcards,
From the warden and my wife,
I know that crime it doesn't pay,
And that greed can change your life,
Oh my sides are sore from laughing,
For my plan it did not fail,
See, those fools are stuck with each other now,
But, I'll soon be out of jail!