The Battle Cry of Garden Gnomes
(Tune: Roddy McCorley) 
{Click to play

Arise ye sons of stone and plaster! 
For victory is at hand! 
Cast off your lawns and ga-ardens! 
Where the foe has made you stand! 
Your shackles to unfeeling men 
At last, at last, throw down! 
And join the call for Freedom, 
For every Garden Gnome! 

What, stand ye there in apathy, 
When Freedom stirs the land? 
The call is heard on ev'ry side, 
And still you stilly stand! 
Rise up, rise up, you frozen men 
And dance the dance of Freedom bright, 
For every Garden Gnome! 


The trumpet's call has faded fast, 
And freedom's light grown cold 
And still you stand while all the world 
Cries out for action bold! 
And stand ye still, no hand to raise! 
No hero fierce stands tall, 
All frozen in your fear are ye, 
By cruel stone enthralled. 

Alack, farewell, you useless stone! 
No more I shall aspire ;
To call you to brave liberty 
With words of fight and fire,
I turn my heart to Flamingoes fair, 
Poor slaves of kitschy homes,
And never more will call upon
You ugly Garden Gnomes!

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