The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #37458   Message #2616042
Posted By: Joe_F
21-Apr-09 - 08:37 PM
Thread Name: Really Really Important Poem
Subject: RE: Really Really Important Poem
Ogden Nash's complete reply to Dorothy Parker was:

The girl who is bespectacled,
She may not get her necktackled,
But safety pins and bassinets
Await the girl who fascinets.

*

Hogamus, higamus,
Men are polygamous.
Higamus, hogamus,
Women, monogamous.

Often attributed to D. Parker, but actually a good deal older.

*

Piss and fart,
Sound at heart.

*

When in danger or in doubt,
Run in circles, scream and shout.

*

Life is a jest, and all things show it:
I thought so once, and now I know it.

*

Suck, squeeze, bang, blow.
Internal combustion makes it go.

*

If I were a cassowary
On the sands of Timbuctoo,
I would eat a missionary,
Coat and bands and hymnbook too.

*

Army version:
Six days shalt thou work and do all thou art able:
The seventh, the same, and clean out the stable.

Navy version:
Six days shalt thou labor and do all that thou art able,
And on the seventh holystone the deck and scrape the cable.

*

Life is ever, since man was born,
Licking honey from a thorn.

*

Always some flakes rise,
But it is correct to say
The snow is falling.

*

Said Sir Christopher Wren,
"I am going to dine with some men.
If anyone calls,
Say I am designing St Paul's."

Said Sir James Dewar,
"I am smarter than you are.
None of you asses
Can condense gases."

Said P. A. M. Dirac,
"I will *not* call it a brac."
Like many Brits,
He had a thing about tits.