I never joke being an intensely serious human being. Talking of zig and zag, though, reminds me of the two dyslexic skiers.

"I'm going to zag zig down the hill" says the first.
"I think you'll find it's zig zig" says the second.
"No it isn't" says the first (vehemently)
Unable to agree they ask another person on the hill.
"I've no idea" says the third "I'm a tobogganist"
"No problem, can I have 20 Marlboro and a box of matches then?"